To the esteemed mayor of London, England:
Dear Mr. Mayor Boris Johnson,
We at Navitat Canopy Adventures in Wrightwood, California, have heard that you’ve been “hanging out” on ziplines at the Olympics lately, and we are quite impressed with both your ziplining style and composure on the line. It seems you have taken a few notes from our most beloved guest, Geico’s Maxwell the Ziplining Pig. Is he the one who gave you the idea of joyfully waving flags in the wind as you traversed through the sky? We must admit that the similarities in your ziplining form are uncanny!
In the spirit of the Olympics, and as you expand your budding role as International Ambassador of Adventure (for Politicians in Trousers), we’d like to formally extend an invitation to Navitat Canopy Adventures where the ziplines reach speeds worthy of the true Olympian that you have proven to be. Fear not, good sir, if you should get stuck in the middle of one of our ziplines, the views will prove far grander and ne’er shall you have need to call for a rope. We shall be humbly at your service.
We hope that your adventurous spirit has influenced the world to seek excitement some 300 feet above the ground while ziplining at speeds up to 55 miles per hour because, simply put, that’s what we can’t wait to share with you when we unfurl the red carpet (or perhaps red harness?) upon your Navitat visit.
To conclude: Here’s to a leader unafraid of having a little fun, who has allowed the world to laugh along with him, and whose ziplining career (we can surely hope) has only just begun.
Mr. London Mayor Boris Johnson — we salute you! And we hope to see you very soon indeed!
With warmest regards and congratulatory cheers for your valiant ziplining effort,
Your Friends at Navitat Canopy Adventures in the good ol’ U.S. of A.